What a lovely morning - NOT!

Silently Crying
Originally uploaded by BidWiya
You know - it's only day 2 in 2008, and already I'm getting compliments for my good looks. Yeah yeah, so I've heard one too many times. But then again, one can never get enough, yes?

Besides, wouldn't you just love being the center of attention, getting people to talk about you and most importantly, having them enjoy what they see as well laugh at you too, as much, yes? And at some points, you'd be flattered - most of the time, you'll be somewhat, very honored, proud, yes?... I mean I would.

But nevertheless, in this case, I would say that since I've anticipated it already, I was more or less, felt, erm, happy, yes? Like, I saw this coming already... yes? No? Gawd, I'm so utterly confused... like, wouldn't you?
xxx xxxxxxxx: i tgk dvd i gelakkan u giler babs

N u r l e a ®: kenaps tatau?
N u r l e a ®: sebab mak gemok full satu screen dalam dvd eh?

And so the chat went on...
xxx xxxxxxxx: x dolahhh..
xxx xxxxxxxx: camera angle dia ke bawah tau..
xxx xxxxxxxx: pastu close up dekat2
xxx xxxxxxxx: so nampak segala rahang.. dan bentuk muka..
xxx xxxxxxxx: lelaki sangat
xxx xxxxxxxx: mak ngan xxx semua gelak2

N u r l e a ®: i tot so too i would be talk of the town and a laughing stock

xxx xxxxxxxx
: semua contestant laaa..tapi i suka tgk u waktu memula waktu cakap tueee..
xxx xxxxxxxx: miming perfect

N u r l e a ®: thanks but that wouldn't cover the fact that i was laughed at
N u r l e a ®: a major flop at a major event

xxx xxxxxxxx
: no laaaa..

N u r l e a ®: now thats something interesting to start of the day

xxx xxxxxxxx
: u penyeri suasana..

N u r l e a ®: yeah - 'penyeri suasana' = pak lawak = a joker in bahasa melayu

xxx xxxxxxxx
: tapikan aiyooohhh..
xxx xxxxxxxx: banyak update kiteorang dapat smalam..
xxx xxxxxxxx: cite pasal ader ehem ehem laaa...
xxx xxxxxxxx: tapi ada lagi yg paling sakit ati...

N u r l e a ®: iyer? i would love to hear the details, just after i go look at myself in the mirror and just laugh my heart out looking at myself being fat and ugly and named the joker of the night and entertained ppl with my sad retarded loook during mw; yes, nothing else existed and nothing else matters - all because whats important is that how ppl enjoy themselves that night looking at me being misserably ugly...

xxx xxxxxxxx
xxx xxxxxxxx: laurielle dah mrajuk
xxx xxxxxxxx: sad sad

N u r l e a ®: mana ade mrajuk - I'm just gonna go eat somemore and go back to bed...
Yes yes I know; I anticipated it, I've somewhat expected it. I even joked about it before - but everything was just to get me feeling better about myself and for that night - but I didn't expected to feel this way, now! I didn't see this one coming; I was a mere MAN in a dress (note, not boy yes, MAN - referring not to age but to the state I am in; no tons of make up or great empire cut dress would do the trick this time) - I was terlalu BAGAK to even be considered a boy now and what more, I was the nights' crowning/ reigning queen who looked major-ly like Hercules! (minus the muskieul part of course...)

So what do I do now? Mrajuk. Diiinch lah! What's the point of feeling gloomy and what not. I think I'm gonna go to the kitchen and have ANOTHER set of heavy breakfast - and then, what, prolly kill myself to sleep? Yes yes, I know, I'll be sure to have more tons of food by my side when I do that. That way, it'll look like the food killed me in bed; whereas actually, it was the pain of just being me that killed me... *Sigh* And I tot it was a new beginning; hence, so much for that shit in the first place. Doubted I would last that long with that kindda shit. Erm... I don't know how long this shitty feeling will last for this time around? Lets just hope it won't be that long. No, no, don't worry. I'll keep on blogging. That way you know am still alive and still adding more of those pounds in my body! But the feeling deep inside, God knows how long that would last...
Young or old... thin or fat... big or small - worship that body! Its the only one you've got! - So it was said by Carla, in Connie and Carla...
I've got one thing to say to that, Miss Carla... that's TOTAL BULLSHIT! Its easy for you to say when you're thin! F*ck! You don't know what it feels like to be me, SO STOP PRETENDING THAT YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL NOW!

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Fish of Pisces @ 5th_E said...  
Gosh. Some ppl think, being frank and not thinking of another person's feelings is ok. it's not - that is a reminder to me also.

Apa2 pun gal, that was ur night, U work ur way to be there. The laughter would die out. U did what u had to and its done.

I bet now u dah ade motivation to keep in shape kan? :) u better do coz MASA BERJALAN and MASA ITU EMAS and dont ever forget DEMI MASA, MANUSIA ITU SELALU DALAM KERUGIAN. So, buck up, pull up the zip, and strut! *it's reminder for me as well, matila been pigging out this past few weeks *cry*

Apa2 pun u ols, I know if u want something, u wud work ur way for it, this time, do it properly and safely ye *mak tak berniat nak carut* but its a fact. GO LKY!! GO!!
passerby-only just said...  
whats this? second day in the new year and u are all upset n gloomy? com'on! stick n stones may break bones but words will never do u harm!
Hatta Dolmat said...  
what ever it is, ur still queen in my heart!

u go gurl..
LeeZ said...  
yupss no need to merajuk.... all you need to do is MAKAN MAKAN MAKAN!!! and BE HAPPY!!!! heheheeh!!!
G for Goddess said...  
HAHAHAAHA... aiyoo mek ketawa sundels. not because you're fat or your manly *cough* features, but mainly for the magnitude of drama u put ON YOURSELF due to a small thing. gosh gal get a grip of yourself, will ya?

i dont wish to repeat the things i said to you regarding what people say. nor do i wish to count how many thousand times i've said that.

but since you're here dramatizing, i'd say you're doing this whole pain-in-my-manly-face saga *chuckles* to yourself. dont say i didnt warn u...

and yes gal, you ARE hilarious...

ps - actually passerby-only, words DO harm LKY. itu yg mek tak paham...
Nurlea Laurielle said...  
Sorry, was silly to even have the thought of doing this entry. My bad. What was I think, again? Just ignore this entry. Thanks!

Will be back later tonight. Ciao!
azyze gomez said...  
Hello Nurlea

Oh, I get you. I so totally get you. It's kinda hard to swallow something like that. Especially when you know that the comforting words that come after the comments were just, well, cover-ups.

But you look good, girl! From a female's point of view, you're, what's that word... meletop! I mean, I have all the 'original' parts and I can't even look half like you. There. (Oh, should be feeling bad for myself, tapi whateverlah ahah)

So there you go Cik Nurlea. Sometimes you just gotta suck em all up, stand tall and say "Well, at least I've proven myself. At least I've been at the top. Kau hado?!"

Cheers! :)

Silent reader (yg xbrapa silent skang heh),

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